Solo–Dating
I am getting that itch… the itch to escape my environment and leave the gloomy and wet days in exchange for some sunshine and beaches in Cali. I don’t think I remember the last time I’ve gone this long of a stretch without visiting home or having visitors into our own home. Point blank – it sucks! I miss my family, I miss the sunshine, I miss the variety of entertainment from going to the mall to visiting different lakes and trails. I miss play dates and having some mommy interaction while my kiddos play with other kiddos.
I’m fully acknowledging that I miss to life as it was 6 months ago and it makes me feel a tad sad and lonely. In fact, I just listened to a podcast episode about loneliness (Unlocking Us) and one thing Dr. Vivek Murthy said that grabbed me is the foundation for connecting with others is connecting with ourselves. Mind blowing to me when I really stop to reflect on how much connection means to me. I ask myself, am I connecting with others for validation or am I connecting with others to listen while fully being myself?
If I’m being realllllllly honest, I feel like it’s a mix of both. I’m craving in–person connection to validate my sadness and grief, and yet I’m also dying to experience other’s reactions and stories.
However, after listening to that podcast episode, I’ve been challenging myself to act on what I do have control over right here and right now…. which always comes back to ME… I can control myself! My thoughts, my vision, my feelings, and my reactions. When I continue to learn more about myself, I feel like it deepens the connection I make with others because I no longer am seeking for validation in who I am. I OWN THAT. **Wow! That feels so empowering to claim that in writing**
So now comes the how– here’s what I commit to continue/start doing to validate who I am:
Meditate – I have a lot on my mind a lot of the time. I KNOW that when I meditate it really does quiet the thoughts and centers me to think about one thing at a time… the one thing that’s the most important. This helps provide insight to what I value and want to spend my time on.
Spending Time Outside – This is huge for me, especially being in a rainy and gloomy state. Being outside helps me connect with earth and nature’s gifts which is so calming for me. Outdoors is a peaceful place for me to to reflect on what’s important to me and worth spending time on.
Gratitude – I started writing 3-5 things I’m grateful for at the end of each evening. What I realize in doing so is there is so much good in my life to be appreciative about rather than focusing on what’s not working and feeling stuck in that place.
Energy Inventory – I am definitely one to thrive off of highly energizing activities. I love standing while working, walking while talking, and moving my body to get my thoughts going and the conversation flowing. On the flip side, I can really get in a slump when I’m on E or acknowledging why I’m on E. Spending time to reflect on where my energy is spent throughout the day will really help me clarify who I am and what drives me.
Read Books – I talked a little bit about how reading drives me here. What I discover more and more how much I appreciate reading books and escape my own thoughts or lens. Reading allows me to see or think differently and really push myself out of comfort or complacency.
These priorities will be front and center for me as I navigate life right now being in the end of May 2020. It’s as if I’m solo-dating myself… getting re-acquainted with who I really am. Summer is around the corner and I want to make it one of my best ones yet! I plan to get there by connecting with my full authentic self and then of course connecting with others for the sake of listening and receiving.
How are you doing these days? What do you enjoy doing on solo-dates?
Light + Love,
Bev
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