Posts tagged self love
Underneath the Healthy Habits

When I wake up each morning, I turn off my alarm and head to the kitchen to start my morning ritual. It includes listening to brief meditations, making coffee, clearing the dishwasher (me clearing space for what’s possible in the day ahead) then sitting in my quiet corner speaking with and learning from God. Then, there are certain habits for when I wrap up my day, reflecting and journaling my gratitude and connecting with my husband during uninterrupted time.

What I do to start and end my days are very important for me since I have been on this path of discovering who I am at my core and what I need. My healthy habits help me provide a more meaningful journey in this life. What I realize the more I rinse and repeat is that every type of healthy habit I have supports 3 main facets that in sum create my entire being:

  1. Physical Body – I have no shame in admitting that I have tried a fad diet or 2 in my lifetime. The one that stuck with me the most (beyond the program itself) is Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers helped me see what I was missing as part of basic needs of my body (like my water and fruits/veggies intake). I also learned how moving my body was another factor in a healthy body, whether it was a workout in the gym or a Zumba class! Moving my body meant more than sweating my butt off and being short of breath. The thing that matters the most to me these days is how I feel after applying some of the basic rules for a healthy body. I don’t obsess over a number on the scale, yet I don’t indulge on emotional eating because I’m not at the weight I was 10 years ago. I only get ONE body on this earth and it’s up to me to treat it with compassion and love, just like I do for my children!

  2. Mindset – Stillness and meditation used to be too “woo woo” for me. I even took a course in Mindfulness nearly 10 years ago and just couldn’t stop laughing at all the serious faces and breathing in the room around me. I am happy to report that I am totally a “woo woo” person and I will never have a waking day I don’t practice intentional breathing, serious and all! I’m not a black belt in meditating, but the more time I spend in stillness the better I get at dismissing senseless thoughts that distract me from the present moment. I’m learning so much about the power of my perception and it has helped me heal from even the deepest wombs I have.

  3. Spiritual – Part of my meditating process is to connect with my higher being, God. There’s something euphoric that happens in stillness which includes my ego being put aside to honor God’s desires and intentions. As each day unfolds, situations occur through direct and indirect conversations, events take place all around the world, “life happens” and the choice of what I do or how I respond is completely up to me. The more obedient I am in my relationship with my Lord and Savior, the more clearer I am on how to be in the present moment.

My healthy habits are like the icing on the cake. The cake is made up of these 3 main ingredients, and the icing is about how I activate and sustain these facets of my being.

What healthy habits do you have? What is important for you that may lie underneath those habits?

Get curious with your habits and ask yourself these questions to ensure what you are doing is ultimately supporting who you are.


Light + Love,

Bev

 

Ready to take action and start gaining clarity on who you truly are? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Clarity Call with me!


Creating Happiness


What does happiness mean to you? How do you achieve happiness? What ways do you measure whether you’re happy or not?

I used to attach happiness to moments and achievements – graduating college, being accepted in graduate school, getting my dissertation published in a psychology journal, having our first child, and on and on. Today, I realize that happiness means finding fulfillment in what is rather than sulking in what is not. Happiness lies in the feeling of an experience rather than the ultimate outcome that is intended.

Tal Ben–Shahar defines happiness in his book Happier as, “the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.”

In other words, happiness lies in experiencing something that brings joy and humbles our hearts. Happy moments can definitely come with those big achievements, and yet they don’t last forever. It’s just like thinking about hardships – they don’t last forever (thank goodness) and they also strengthen our resilience.

The world seems heavy still and I am in need of some relief. I have been intentional around creating moments of joy throughout each day instead of waiting for the violence and hate to be over. I have no control over others around me, but what I do have control over is my reactions, my feelings, my intent to thread happiness within my days.

You might be asking, “But Bev… how do I seek happiness when it feels really heavy around us?” I’m so glad you asked!

I have 3 things that I have been doing lately that I find really helpful to rinse and repeat:

Step 1: Ground myself in God’s Word //  God’ truth in the Bible is permanent and can never be revised, updated or edited. When I feel lost, confused or overwhelmed, the Bible offers me the wisdom that is unshakable. It is the weapon of the Spirit and can defeat any thought, person or circumstance that will ever come my way.

“For the word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires.” – Hebrews 4:12

Step 2: Surrender all fears of earthly things (including people) // When I feel nervous, anxious, threatened, competitive or even prideful, I know it’s an indicator for me to surrender. Surrender my thoughts, feelings, actions to God. The only fear God desires is to fear Him. When I fear God, it means I will stand in awe of His glory and worship Him and Him only. When I fear the Lord, there is no room to fear any other person, thing or even myself!

“All who fear the Lord will hate evil.” – Proverbs 8:13

Step 3: Pick a happy place or activity and DO IT // There is always at least one opportunity in each day to find something I love to do or a place I love to be. I give myself permission (talking to the over-productive Bev here) and just do it! It might last an hour, it might last 5 minutes. The time length means nothing to me compared to whether I took action on doing something that brings me joy or not.

I share this with you to encourage you to stop waiting for THE big moment. Take action RIGHT NOW to create a meaningful experience that fulfills you. If you wait until the perfect time or place or day, you will have waited for too long!

Light + Love,

Bev

 

Ready to take action and start gaining clarity on who you truly are? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Clarity Call with me!


Looking Ahead

Hello 2021!

So much happened in 2020 that had me feeling SO many different things. It felt like I was running very short sprints with my emotions which totally makes sense after reflecting on the year. There were so many different events that occurred, lots of big events, lots of little ones… some things brought intense emotions like overwhelm, stress, anxiety, while other events brought excitement, curiosity, joy or calmness.

I took the last few months to reflect on the year and to my surprise I had an overwhelmingly sense of warmth. The big and small events brought me closer to God, bringing all of my thoughts to him and surrendering what was out of my control. I felt more connected to the Holy Spirit which always grounds me. I also spent more and more time outside in nature paddle boarding, fishing and swimming at the lake, hiking new trails. Being outside as a family brought so much curiosity and exploration… exactly how I remember my childhood being outside a lot of the time!

That sense of freedom was KEY for me last year and I refuse to have another year go by without spending time every day outdoors. One thing I choose to focus on in 2021 is to bring back the things that brought me joy as a kid – rollerblading, playing softball, dodgeball, basketball, playing games. I am saying YES to more of these types of things and NO to exhausting my eyes and brain at the computer screen from morning until night. YES to meaningful experiences and NO to buying things that have no purpose. YES to more outreach and volunteering my time with communities who are in need and NO to things that don’t energize me or that I feel obligated to say yes to.

Essentially, what I’m doing is preparing myself to say yes to more things that serve me and no to things that are preventing me from being honest. I’m saying yes to things that are good for my soul and no to things that my ego may be attached to.

Are you ready to claim your YES’s and stand firm with your NO’s? Here are 3 simple steps to help you gain some clarity:

  1. REFLECT – Think about the last year and the ebbs and flows in your life. It started with life pre-Covid and ended in the midst of Covid. There will be good moments, neutral moments and perhaps even some bad moments that occurred. How did you build resilience and strength? What worked or didn’t work for you? Carry those things over to the new year as lessons learned that you can course correct along the way as you begin 2021.

  2. ENVISION – This is where the magic happens! Take a few hours or days to think about what you desire in the new year. Set your intentions on what to focus on, to complete or to integrate into your day to day life. Allow yourself to DREAM!

  3. TAKE ACTION – Taking action each day towards what you envision is one way to step out of fear and into abundance. You don’t need a grand master plan before you step into action, you just need hunger and determination. Also expect to fail – it leads to growth!

If you need more guidance, visit the Coaching Resources page to download the New Year and Reflections worksheet.

Last year was rough for each and every one of us. Extend yourself some grace and build from it. Set your intentions and get ready for all of those possibilities in 2021!

Light + Love,

Bev

 

Ready to take action and start gaining clarity on who you truly are? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Clarity Call with me!


Find Ways to Restore Yourself

As we near the end of the year, I’m not gonna lie – I’m riding the struggle bus straight into exhaustion. I mean, hello 2020!

I am more and more aware of listening to my body and the signals it provides me when I’m tired, when I need to shut my mind off and simply restore my energy. Over the Thanksgiving break, I fully unplugged myself and stayed away from my computer screens for about 5 days. IT. FELT. GLORIOUS.

I went into Monday feeling charged and rested. I felt like the clouds in my brain had parted and I was seeing blue skies! Then I started to ask myself, why did I wait so long to do that?

The pandemic definitely has shifted life and we never seem to be really settling on a “done” state. I am finding continuous moments of learning, growing, recalibrating and resetting to do live all over again each waking day. It’s extremely valuable to be intentional with how and when we restore ourselves in the midst of it all.

I want to share with you 4 things that are helping me intentionally restore myself:

  1. Use the weekends to unplug – I have to ask myself, “What’s the thing(s) you find yourself doing the most during the week?” and then be willing to put that thing on the bench for the weekend. I give myself permission to step away from the day to day tasks and step into a reset day doing things that I just can’t find the time to do throughout the week.

  2. Swap the phone for a book – I really want to pour more time into reading more. I have so many good books I’ve collected (and lots on my book list) to indulge in. Yet, I seem to lose a sense of time by the end of the day and find myself on the couch scrolling through Instagram or Facebook. I want to spend more time reading compelling stories rather than watching 30-second “stories” on social media so I place a book near my couch at arms reach during those commercials!

  3. Spend some QT outdoors – I have grown to love my surroundings more and more, particularly since we are covered in tall pine trees and gorgeous hills in the state of WA. Every single time I make it outside, I feel so refreshed and grounded when I come back inside the house. Mother nature is an incredible gift to remind us of the beauty of God’s country.

  4. Meditate each day – I am a huge fan of this one, and I prefer to start my day in meditation Monday through Sunday. There’s nothing better than quieting the to do list and thoughts to connect my mind, body and soul. I feel completely in my own skin and connected with a greater purpose than what might be surfacing my ego.

I hope these tips can help you stir up some ideas on the ways you restore yourself. Be sure to honor your energy and restore your mind and body regularly and frequently. Let’s not lose sight of ourselves in the chaos and instead rejoice in the true Christmas spirit through connection and love.



Light + Love,

Bev

 

Ready to take action and start gaining clarity on who you truly are? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Clarity Call with me!


3 Ways to Reset Throughout the Day

Morning routines are a necessity for me to function throughout my day. I have a specific routine that gets my mind and spirit right which involves spending time in the bible reading God’s word, praying, meditating, breathing and journaling. This is a jump start for my day, where I set intentions in a proactive way rather than allowing life to happen to me.

These rituals have helped me launch into the morning, yet I soon realized how my evenings differed. I’m so mentally exhausted from work, kids, life and I just want to sit on the couch and veg out to some reality TV. I decided I needed to end my evening the way I began the morning– in stillness, thanking God for the many many blessings, and journaling in gratitude.

Morning routines… night routines… here I was thinking I’m killin’ the game in life! Then I have an intensely emotionally-draining day just a short week ago. After pinpointing the root cause of the exhaustion (different meetings with different people with different ideas), I realized– shoot, Bev… you have a killer morning routine, and added a soothing evening routine, yet you’re missing a mini-routine to keep my sanity throughout the day. Something that would allow me to be in silence, take deep breaths, and re-center myself with the world around me instead of staying stuck in a perspective that does NOT serve me. I needed something that is attainable in a short amount of time for those busy days, and also help me release any ill-feelings towards anyone or caused by anyone’s words.

I rallied up 3 simple things I can do in 5 minutes (preferably while stepping outside in fresh air). The intention is that I give myself grace and permission to reset and release in the moment until I can journal and reflect at a later time. Thought it would be helpful to share this reset:

1- Release all Judgement – this one is a hard one to do, but has so much freedom in it. I choose to release all judgements of myself and of others. One reason I love to reset outside is so I can take a deep breath, look up in the sky and mentally release the thoughts or reactions I had about someone based on what was said or even how it was said. Releasing judgement allows me to be more present with a full heart.

2- Forgive with Compassion – whether I actually receive an apology or not, forgiving someone is ultimately in service of me (or you). Compassion is key in forgiveness grounding me back to the human being I need to heal from. Compassion allows me to let go of any assumptions and be in the moment moving forward with love.

3- Speak an Affirmation – there is nothing more powerful than to look in the mirror and claim who I am and what I deserve. I deserve to be seen. I hear you. I love you. I can take a break without explaining myself to anyone. You are complete as you are right now. These words guide me in love and self acceptance no matter where I am or who I am with.

There it is… my mini-reset routine I can do in the matter of a few minutes to help me sustain my energy throughout the day. And now comes the practice… which by the way I have created a visual for easy access you can post on social media or save on your photos. Download it in the Freebies page (if you need the password, you can enter your email on the bottom of this webpage)!

What do you do to reset throughout the day?



Light + Love,

Bev

 

Ready to take action to plan your “reset strategy” today? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Session Call with me!

Solo–Dating

I am getting that itch… the itch to escape my environment and leave the gloomy and wet days in exchange for some sunshine and beaches in Cali. I don’t think I remember the last time I’ve gone this long of a stretch without visiting home or having visitors into our own home. Point blank – it sucks! I miss my family, I miss the sunshine, I miss the variety of entertainment from going to the mall to visiting different lakes and trails. I miss play dates and having some mommy interaction while my kiddos play with other kiddos.

I’m fully acknowledging that I miss to life as it was 6 months ago and it makes me feel a tad sad and lonely. In fact, I just listened to a podcast episode about loneliness (Unlocking Us) and one thing Dr. Vivek Murthy said that grabbed me is the foundation for connecting with others is connecting with ourselves. Mind blowing to me when I really stop to reflect on how much connection means to me. I ask myself, am I connecting with others for validation or am I connecting with others to listen while fully being myself?

If I’m being realllllllly honest, I feel like it’s a mix of both. I’m craving in–person connection to validate my sadness and grief, and yet I’m also dying to experience other’s reactions and stories.

However, after listening to that podcast episode, I’ve been challenging myself to act on what I do have control over right here and right now…. which always comes back to ME… I can control myself! My thoughts, my vision, my feelings, and my reactions. When I continue to learn more about myself, I feel like it deepens the connection I make with others because I no longer am seeking for validation in who I am. I OWN THAT. **Wow! That feels so empowering to claim that in writing**

So now comes the how– here’s what I commit to continue/start doing to validate who I am:

  1. Meditate – I have a lot on my mind a lot of the time. I KNOW that when I meditate it really does quiet the thoughts and centers me to think about one thing at a time… the one thing that’s the most important. This helps provide insight to what I value and want to spend my time on.

  2. Spending Time Outside – This is huge for me, especially being in a rainy and gloomy state. Being outside helps me connect with earth and nature’s gifts which is so calming for me. Outdoors is a peaceful place for me to to reflect on what’s important to me and worth spending time on.

  3. Gratitude – I started writing 3-5 things I’m grateful for at the end of each evening. What I realize in doing so is there is so much good in my life to be appreciative about rather than focusing on what’s not working and feeling stuck in that place.

  4. Energy Inventory – I am definitely one to thrive off of highly energizing activities. I love standing while working, walking while talking, and moving my body to get my thoughts going and the conversation flowing. On the flip side, I can really get in a slump when I’m on E or acknowledging why I’m on E. Spending time to reflect on where my energy is spent throughout the day will really help me clarify who I am and what drives me.

  5. Read Books – I talked a little bit about how reading drives me here. What I discover more and more how much I appreciate reading books and escape my own thoughts or lens. Reading allows me to see or think differently and really push myself out of comfort or complacency.

These priorities will be front and center for me as I navigate life right now being in the end of May 2020. It’s as if I’m solo-dating myself… getting re-acquainted with who I really am. Summer is around the corner and I want to make it one of my best ones yet! I plan to get there by connecting with my full authentic self and then of course connecting with others for the sake of listening and receiving.

How are you doing these days? What do you enjoy doing on solo-dates?



Light + Love,

Bev

 

Ready to take action on gaining clarity in who you are? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Session Call with me!