I am getting that itch… the itch to escape my environment and leave the gloomy and wet days in exchange for some sunshine and beaches in Cali. I don’t think I remember the last time I’ve gone this long of a stretch without visiting home or having visitors into our own home. Point blank – it sucks! I miss my family, I miss the sunshine, I miss the variety of entertainment from going to the mall to visiting different lakes and trails. I miss play dates and having some mommy interaction while my kiddos play with other kiddos.

I’m fully acknowledging that I miss to life as it was 6 months ago and it makes me feel a tad sad and lonely. In fact, I just listened to a podcast episode about loneliness (Unlocking Us) and one thing Dr. Vivek Murthy said that grabbed me is the foundation for connecting with others is connecting with ourselves. Mind blowing to me when I really stop to reflect on how much connection means to me. I ask myself, am I connecting with others for validation or am I connecting with others to listen while fully being myself?

If I’m being realllllllly honest, I feel like it’s a mix of both. I’m craving in–person connection to validate my sadness and grief, and yet I’m also dying to experience other’s reactions and stories.

However, after listening to that podcast episode, I’ve been challenging myself to act on what I do have control over right here and right now…. which always comes back to ME… I can control myself! My thoughts, my vision, my feelings, and my reactions. When I continue to learn more about myself, I feel like it deepens the connection I make with others because I no longer am seeking for validation in who I am. I OWN THAT. **Wow! That feels so empowering to claim that in writing**

So now comes the how– here’s what I commit to continue/start doing to validate who I am:

1. Meditate – I have a lot on my mind a lot of the time. I KNOW that when I meditate it really does quiet the thoughts and centers me to think about one thing at a time… the one thing that’s the most important. This helps provide insight to what I value and want to spend my time on.

2. Spending Time Outside – This is huge for me, especially being in a rainy and gloomy state. Being outside helps me connect with earth and nature’s gifts which is so calming for me. Outdoors is a peaceful place for me to to reflect on what’s important to me and worth spending time on.

3. Gratitude – I started writing 3-5 things I’m grateful for at the end of each evening. What I realize in doing so is there is so much good in my life to be appreciative about rather than focusing on what’s not working and feeling stuck in that place.

4. Energy Inventory – I am definitely one to thrive off of highly energizing activities. I love standing while working, walking while talking, and moving my body to get my thoughts going and the conversation flowing. On the flip side, I can really get in a slump when I’m on E or acknowledging why I’m on E. Spending time to reflect on where my energy is spent throughout the day will really help me clarify who I am and what drives me.

5. Read Books – I talked a little bit about how reading drives me here. What I discover more and more how much I appreciate reading books and escape my own thoughts or lens. Reading allows me to see or think differently and really push myself out of comfort or complacency.

These priorities will be front and center for me as I navigate life right now being in the end of May 2020. It’s as if I’m solo-dating myself… getting re-acquainted with who I really am. Summer is around the corner and I want to make it one of my best ones yet! I plan to get there by connecting with my full authentic self and then of course connecting with others for the sake of listening and receiving.

How are you doing these days? What do you enjoy doing on solo-dates?

Light + Love,

Bev

Ready to take action on gaining clarity in who you are? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Session Call with me!

The world is quiet. At a standstill and in our own homes processing many different emotions which change minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. I myself have been a bit all over. I lost a few of my rhythms, routines, and ways of being. To be honest, I THRIVE with structure so this has been a very difficult yet humbling experience for me. I’m learning more about having grace, being humble, creating and breaking habits– all within myself which is super hard yet super worth it! As I read my bible, read and listen to audio books, journal, work, cook, be with my kids and with my hubs, I can’t help but think about the other women who are going through similar and different experiences. So I decided I want to write a letter to HER in honor of who she is in the here and now.

Dear Sister,

Thank you for all that you do, think about, and reflect upon. I see you and channel your energy as I plow through my days knowing I’m not doing this life alone. I’m sending light and love to you as you work through doing all things…

For yourself. You deserve the few minutes of quiet time. You deserve the extra seconds in the shower just to stand alone without anyone or anything but your thoughts. You deserve the clay mask after all is said and done for the night and it’s time to unwind. You carry a lot of emotions and they’re all okay. You are okay and you are loved.

For your hubs. You are both under pressure during these times. You are probably dealing with a new norm having him home all day OR maybe he’s still going to work as an essential worker and you’re at home processing emotions alone. You’re doing the best you can and that’s okay. You are okay and you are loved.

For your kids. They’re no longer at school or with friends. They’re home with you, eating everything you cook or bake, and putting in more time in chores around the house. You’re cooking more than ever for the household and also have more face time with the kids for good ol’ conversations. Sometimes they indulge in chatting and sometimes they just don’t. And that’s okay. You' are okay and you are loved.

For your family. This is an interesting time where we can’t just drive down the road or highway or fly out to see our parents, grandparents, siblings, other family. Some family are home, some are on the front lines as essential workers. You are offering support- financial, emotional and spiritual support. Some days you have it to give, some days you need to receive and that’s okay. You are okay and you are loved.

For your friends. You miss your wine nights or coffee dates and now you’re trying to have them virtually. You just need a hug from your best girlfriends or they need a hug from you. You have a partner in crime to help support you throughout the day no matter how high or low you are feeling. And that’s okay. You are okay and you are loved.

For your pets. You can’t go to the dog parks these days, so you go on more and more walks. Some days the streets are so bare and quiet it makes you realize where we are as a nation. You’re doing the best you can at getting outside with your pets and you also are drained from the day and that’s okay. You are okay and you are loved.

I want you to know dear sister that you are loved. You matter. You are seen. You are courageous and fierceless. You are doing the best you can and that’s okay if some days are more than others.

I write this letter to myself, to you, to every single WOMAN out there right now.

I love you, girl!

Not gonna lie here- there are a few things in life happening right now that I just don’t have any answers to. In fact, I’m not even certain what I do today will lead to a specific result tomorrow. I’m not certain that I will ever get the answers to the questions I’ve been asking for months now. I’m not certain that we will be where we are in a year from today. And yet this uncertainty robs me of my presence and instead brings on worry, stress, fears and just some negative story telling that occurs in my mind.

I came to a revelation over the last few weeks that stopped me in my tracks – I can continue to ask the questions I need to gain the clarity I desire AND ALSO I can take control of what I can do in the meantime to fulfill my own needs. That revelation is one that is so powerful for me. It actually brings so much peace and stops the negative stories in my mind about all of those “What If’s” that have no purpose or healthy resolution.

This is such a timely conversation to have in the world today as news continues to break with updates of the coronavirus. To be honest, I seriously went down a black hole over the weekend after hearing there was the first death reported here in the state of WA. Going to Costco then added to that anxiety as I watched tons of people shop for an emergency and clear the water from the shelves. Later that night I took a moment to get grounded and tell myself, "Yes, there’s a lot I don’t know. BUT what I am certain of is having the knowledge and capability to wash our hands, keep our coughs and sneezes contained, and stay away from the sick. That’s the certainty that I need to show up the best I can during this nationwide alert that is impacting lives.”

You see, finding certainty is absolutely healthy for the sake of clarity, assurance, and direction. But driving ourselves bonkers for having such uncertainty when asking questions or not having all the information desired is unacceptable. There will always be something that you can do, think or feel that you and you only have control over.

I choose to create my own reality, my own direction and my own power to drive forward taking imperfect action.

What do you typically do in the state of uncertainty? What else is possible when you don’t have all the answers?

Light + Love,

Bev

Ready to take action on creating your own certainty? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Session Call with me!

I admit it… I am a box checker. I love to write my to do’s on paper and physically check them off as I get them done. The gratification is tremendous as I look at all the completed tasks I got done, and yet it can be overwhelming for me at times. It becomes overwhelming when my list grow, I don’t get to check something off, or tasks keep spilling onto the next day… then the next… then the next… and sometimes the task just fades away into the sunset until someone or something reminds me whether or not I ever got it done.

Lately, my to do’s are a bit scattered because I have a lot going on with work, family and all around life. When I feel scattered it’s literally a red flag saying, "ALERT! Get clear… focus on your priorities, one at a time!” And that’s exactly what I did to center myself this past week. I stopped and thought about my overall productivity.

I realized that productivity does not always need to come forth in a pretty to do list. Productivity actually happens and takes form in so many different ways, ways that are not always planned for or scheduled on my calendar. Here are a few of those productive (yet unscheduled) things that I took the time to pour into this week:

• Resting. Oh my WORD there is something so magical about just sitting to sit. Not scrolling on a phone, watching TV or even engaging with others. I don’t do this often but my bum and my heart love this feeling of simply sitting down and glancing out of a window.

• Taking time for SELF. I forgot how nice it is to decide to take myself out to the store for no other reason but just feeling like it. Last week I talked about minimizing and how that is really helping me set intentions with having and buying “stuff”. This week I experienced the joy that comes from shopping for a need rather than a want and actually feeling rewarded from it.

• Communicating with others. The phone is such a powerful technology when it’s used the old school way of dialing a phone number and calling someone. I spoke with a few near and dear people in my life that I don't speak to on the regular and it was so fulfilling. Catching up and reminding ourselves of what’s important and the change that has happened as of late to realize how much our priorities are important was honestly so productive and meaningful.

• Reading. I love reading and I realize I can do it even more than I do now. I listened to my audio book while driving and thought how productive it felt to have that wisdom in the moment AND have it pour into other facets of my day. To read is to expand awareness, gain new perspectives and appreciate the diversity in so many different types of authors.

I’m ending this week with gratitude and appreciation for checking these things off that I should be scheduling time for wayyyyy more often than I currently do!

How do you define productivity? What are some things that are unscheduled yet so powerful when you actually spend time doing them?

Light + Love,

Bev

Ready to take action and be productive? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Session Call with me!

It’s been a year since we moved to the beautiful crisp state of Washington from sunny California. And we decided to move (again). Moving for coach’s career opportunity means doing so very rapidly before the busy period starts and also to minimize that time of solo parenting. After living in our gorgeous home for a year though, we discovered lack of accessibility to a main road let alone any stores within reach. By the grace of God, after being on a mad house hunt, we found something perfect for our needs and only a whopping 6 minutes away from my husband’s work (#HUGEwin).

We literally picked up the keys the day we arrived back to WA from the pro-bowl in Orlando. Then the madness began. Within a week we packed the entire house ourselves and loaded the endless boxes in a truck and moved every single piece of furniture ourselves. A week later we packed the entire garage and again – packed and carried every single bin, weight, squat rack and some – just the hubs and I!

Now we are in the stage of cleaning of the old house and figuring out how our furniture and decor fit the feng shui of the new home. BUT the main intent of me sharing our recent move is to reveal what I discovered about myself during this transition:

1. Minimizing is constant – No matter how many times I do a deep clearing of clothes, shoes, or toys, it just isn’t a “one and done” type of process. What I find to be the true impactful change is in the behavior of buying, needing, wanting things. I should pause and reflect on what I NEED rather than taking advantage of a sale for something I might already have (like a potato peeler for instance).

2. Grief ebbs and flows – There are things I don’t typically see often that stay in bins packed away. A few important things that are difficult for me to visit and sit with are things belonging to my mom who passed 4 years ago. I came across her wallet and of course I opened it and went through her cards, ID and personal info and I just cried. I sat and cried for the love I have for her and how much I miss her being around to see my family grow. I didn’t hurry through those bins, I didn’t brush away the thought – I sat with the grief without solving for it and it was healing for me in that moment.

3. Our family dictates belonging – Having moved 4 times in the last 2 years can take a toll on my 2 kiddos. Yes, they think things are fun and games with new adventures and new bedrooms. But they also ask me about their old home or the family we used to live very close to in Cali. What I realize is that my call to action is to help my children (and myself) FEEL the sense of belonging – to always speak of God’s word, always love, always provide a safe space, always ask questions and be curious rather than assuming or continuing to get things done from our “to do” list. Our family dictates a sense of belonging, NOT just the home itself.

I share these things with you in hopes it will help bring you a deep breath, especially if you are in a transition period yourself.

What do you learn about yourself when it’s time to move or transition?

Light + Love,

Bev

Ready to take action on your transition today? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Session Call with me!

Happy New Year! I am extremely happy to be in this space yet again of blogging, writing, reflecting and just showing up with my true wholehearted self. As I think back to 2019 and even further back, I have so much gratitude… for people I had the pleasure of meeting and creating memories with, for the hard lessons I learned about myself and what is truly important to me, and as of late- for realizing exactly how I spend my time and what shifts I can make to make that time more meaningful for me.

During the month of December, I stayed off of Instagram for a whole whopping 31 days. Why? I was very quick to open up that orange and pink app from my iPhone, sometimes not even realizing that I was going on there. I realized that I was taking the minimal time I had in-between work, kids, and house duties to watch quick snippets of Instastories about what different peeps were up to, what life lessons they had to share, or what products were the flavor of the month I just could not live without. I also realized that I was consuming way more than I posted about myself. I didn’t really have an intention to go on Instagram other than to escape the current reality for a few minutes at a time (sometimes even hours at a time… EEK!).

While on my Instagram detox, I realized that I am much more present to myself without escaping to watch other people- more present to my own feelings, my thoughts, and what I really want to use my free time on. Of course, I wanted more than the realization or acknowledgement so I decided on a few commitments moving forward. I commit to have an intentional amount of time to visit Instagram as a luxury, because that what it really is. Instagram is a luxury of having an online platform to share my life with the world, and to also learn about other peoples’ lives . I also commit to engage with others, whether that means to post something that might serve someone else, or simply to interact with those that I watch or listen to and share my reactions to what they post and share. I also commit to sift through my followers and accounts that I follow on a monthly basis so I can hold myself accountable with the people I am learning and growing from.

So here’s to a new month, a new year, a new decade– full of new perspectives that I welcome with open arms!

Light + Love,

Bev

Ready to take action and gain new perspectives today? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Session Call with me!